He Who Laughs Last, Laughs Best

Soon the events of late 2004-early 2005 will become part of history and the subject of reminiscences, legends, tall stories, and exaggerations (or the contrary). Even their direct participants, like those of past wars or other perturbations, will be retelling this fantastic and majestic truth differently, putting an emphasis on latter-day “post-Orange” realities and reappraising those events in the dimensions of contemporary life. Of course, the success or failure of the new government, and changes (or absence thereof) for the better in the life of society and every individual will be of great importance.

But despite everything — even if, God forbid, worse comes to worst and the people believe that they have been cheated and feel totally disillusioned with their victorious leaders — the truth (or something very close to it) about the Orange Revolution will not only go down in the history of a young state but also guarantee that from now on our people will no longer humbly tolerate all that succeeding governments may try to foist on them. They will never be speechless and cowardly again. Anything can still happen in the future, but this future would have been impossible without the extraordinary and fateful events that occurred last winter.

This is why it is crucial to try to record the course of events, details, participants and their actions, and, what is more, the public mood that prevailed in Kyiv and enveloped our entire society (no matter on which side of the “barricades”). Here everything is priceless: simple “sketches from nature,” fiction, reminiscences of participants and contemporaries, limericks, jokes, and even pasquinades, photo albums and collections of cartoons, and, naturally, analytical opuses from researchers.

This is why I took such interest and pleasure in a new publication called The Ukrainians Win while Laughing (Tavriya publishers, Simferopol) edited by Tetiana Logush and Oleksandr Kumansky, two Kyivans who participated in the Orange Revolution. The editors say that the book was in fact being created by the participants in that fantastic presidential election race: those nameless authors of limericks and jokes, unknown cartoon artists who painted on walls and sidewalks or stuck posters and handed out leaflets, and the entire Ukrainian public that was creating this new-time epic with the fervor of true neophytes.

As the editors state in their foreword, the book chiefly focuses on how “the falsifiers tried hard but still failed to falsify things” and contains pieces of satire and humor by Ukrainian writers and artists (professionals as well as amateurs). The book also presents a few works by Russian satirists and the journalists Viktor Shenderovich and Valery Paniushkin, who sincerely sympathized with what was going on the Maidan. The book is generously illustrated with drawings and “battlefield photos.”

The book is essentially a motley collection, which should come as no surprise because it has a collective author. Still, I think every reader will definitely appreciate at least a few of the witty jokes and stories and will recollect the unforgettable atmosphere of the Maidan, the real protagonist of the book. The authors intend to continue recounting the story of the Ukrainians “winning while laughing.” I will take the liberty of offering just one piece of advice: the next edition(s) should take into account the irrefutable fact that the winners may be as much the butt of jokes, lampoons, or limericks as the losers — even if justice is on the winners’ side. (On closer examination, the only hero in worldwide literature at whom people don’t poke fun is the Old Testament God.) It also seems to me that when you sift the material, you’d better use a filter with a bit finer mesh.

Here are a few examples from The Ukrainians Win while Laughing:

“If you remove the wool from your eyes, there’ll be no trace left of democracy, freedom of speech, positive tendencies, and law-and-order.”

“Experts say that there was a sharp drop in crime during the Orange Revolution because all the thieves and bandits went in for politics.”

“Forty-four boys were born in Kyiv during the election campaign. Thirty- four were named Viktor in honor of Yushchenko and the rest were named Viktor in honor of Yanukovych. This is further mathematical proof that the final result of the elections was correct.”

“The National Redemption Committee resolved, ‘With due account of the contribution made to the Orange Revolution, the monument to Princess Olha in Kyiv will now be known as the monument to Princess Yuliya.”

“Democracy in this country is when an individual who tells political jokes will face nothing — neither wages, pension, nor grants.”

“Lukyaniv Jail was quickly renovated to European standards.”

“Why did Yanukovych speak Ukrainian during the televised debate, but made his concluding phrases in Russian? Because there was not enough time to translate.”

“Member of Parliament Leonid Kravchuk thinks that since Yanukovych was imprisoned in the USSR, i.e., in a different state, he must be considered a POW, not a convict.”

“Has Putin congratulated Yanukovych again on his election victory? But in Odesa even a child knows that you can tell a joke only once.”

“Enraptured by the revolution, I am also green with envy that I will not see anything like this in Moscow for a long time to come. Don’t lie to me that there are no Russian soldiers here. And if even one of them fires a shot, I, a Russian citizen, will never wash my shame off and for an eternity will never be able to atone for the sin. I’m sitting in a hotel room writing, and I’m afraid that some worm in Moscow may give the order to fire. But I will now finish writing, go out to the Maidan, and stop being afraid” (Valery Paniushkin, special correspondent of Kommersant).

“Our Ukraine has risen from its knees, and a human river is flowing down the streets, and a pumpkin mash offered by a humble old man warms my heart.”

“Oh, Orange Kyiv! May we be saved forever! May we live in dignity!”

“This is such a young century, with Orange temples deep in our hearts and prayers on the Maidan. God be with us! We shall overcome!”

“They have cast off their shackles and are rising from their knees. Shevchenko’s great-grandchildren have risen up!”